The Most Sacred Pearl

The house was finally silent, little ones tucked into their beds for the night and we had gone our separate ways.  He to his computer to tackle mountains of work and I to my post at the kitchen sink to tackle the mountain of dishes.  I took in the sight of the dinner dishes and sighed, thinking, "here we go again."  It had been a long Monday, like the many before it. It amazes me how quickly I can run out of grace, how easily my voice turns terse and unforgiving.  Yes, it had been one of those days--again.

I heard the crinkling of paper in the next room, the opening of the doors to our fireplace screen, the rustling of wood.  I could see him there building a fire, trying to create warmth in a house that to both of us felt so very cold.  I took one more look at the dishes and literally threw in the towel. Tuesday seemed like a much better day to do dishes than Monday.

Slowly I made my way over to him as he crouched before the fireplace, sparks just beginning to fly and wrapped my arms around him and whispered "can we start over?"

No, he said, we can't.

And before I could even give him that shocked I can't believe you just said that, here I am offering peace and you turn me away? look of indignation, he whispered

But we can keep going.

It took a moment to realize the magnitude of his words.

We couldn't go back but we could indeed move forward, from grace to grace.  We couldn't get back those hours or pretend they didn't exist but we could in awareness, in forgiveness, in grace move on.

That is the beauty of this life of sanctification.  If we are moving forward, the cross is before us and while don't get to erase our sin or our failures, we can choose to see them in the light of the cross.

And the awareness of what was behind makes the beauty of what is before us that much more breathtaking.

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving...And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

He nailed it to the cross.

My sin, my shame, my lack of ability to extend grace when I have been extended grace abounding, has been nailed to the cross.  All of it. And the memory of all is what helps me grasp how much grace has been given. Not being able to start over is not a walking backward, a carrying the weight of sin, a staring at what is past...

The inability to start over is a gift; it is a starting point.  From there Jesus takes our hand, turning us from sin and walks with us to the foot of the cross.  He brings us to the foot of where He died.  To the foot of where our sins are nailed.

Last night, sparks ignited and within moments, the warmth of grace given and the heat of dancing flames filled our little living room. And in light of the cross, we moved on.

So begins Tuesday, and my hope for today, for every day is to walk in Him, with Him.  As Charles Spurgeon said this morning "Continue to live in Him; proceed from grace to grace, run forward..."

Today, I'm running forward. Won't you run with me?

Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.