{lessons} from the spice aisle

Last night I had the privilege of sharing my heart with a group of dear women. After exchanging messages on Facebook back and forth one afternoon my friend,  Lori, who leads the group called Keepers of the Home, asked if I would read the messages we had exchanged aloud at the monthly meeting.  Butterflies aside, I eagerly agreed because what I had written to her that afternoon was so much of my heart and deepest convictions.  For my friends who couldn't make it last night, here is a roughly edited version of my response to Lori when she posed the question, "What rights and expectations has the Lord shown you the need to yield to Him?" 

When we were first married, God used Greek Seasoning of all things in my life to teach me to surrender. A dear friend was getting married a mere 56 days after we got married and they were such a help in our wedding preparations, I really wanted to throw her a fantastic wedding shower, complete of course with Mediterranean 7-Layer Dip. (Because all great wedding shower have Mediterranean 7-layer dip)  The man of my dreams and I went to the store as happy as newlyweds can be. At least until we made it to the spice aisle.  The Greek Seasoning I needed was $6. At the time we were living on love and not much else and my husband had much greater vision for the future than I. He knew we had only a month’s more rent or so and that $6 was a lot to spend on seasoning.  In my heart I wrestled with him, thinking he was stingy, because REALLY, what is $6?? And seriously, was God asking me to submit over seasoning? Wouldn't a good God want me to serve Mediterranean 7 layer dip at a friend's wedding shower? My husband was surely wrong.  I shed a few tears in the grocery store aisle. 

Now it seems so trivial in light of eternity but even that disagreement about a spice was God gently (or not so gently) peeling back the layers of my flesh.  Ultimately my struggle wasn’t just about submitting to my husband in the area of finances, it was rooted in my mistrust in God and His goodness.

In a nut shell, the root of laying down all my rights was intertwined with what seems redundant "the right of entitlement." I think when we hold on to all the things we think we are entitled too (a husband who is a servant leader, children who show fruit of faithful discipline, a comfortable home, our own time, space, etc,etc) rather than holding on to what we have been given: grace--unearned, undeserved favor and kindness, and mercy--not getting what we do deserve, which is eternal separation from God himself. When God gave me the grace to see that what my sinful nature deserves is hell, and yet He not only justified me, proclaiming me NOT guilty through the blood of His Son, but He also calls me His own, a daughter, an heir…

EVERYTHING became grace. 

When we realize that because of our sinfulness we are really only “entitled” to hell, and yet He lifts us out of the pit because of His great love, not because we have a "right" to any of it, our hearts become soft, humble, and more gracious with all of those perceived "violated rights" we have. I still struggle daily, that feeling of "but God...I, I, I", and by His grace He leads me daily, often a dozen or two dozen or a hundred times a day to the foot of the cross where He says "I AM that I AM, and it is finished."

I twinge now when people use the phrase "you deserve it!" when someone is blessed with anything: a promotion, a spa afternoon, a night off, really anything "out of the ordinary," because it removes the glory from a gracious God who gives gifts and puts it on us "see what I have done!!"

I believe that having a right understanding of God's abundant grace, and our sinful nature, brings a hope, joy and peace that transcends all understanding and gives us the ability to say that all is grace...the diapers, the sleepless nights, the job-losses, the illnesses, all of it...because God is good and His promises are true that "all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." When my heart is right before the Lord, I am humbled at all that He gives and when its not, I become indignant thinking "but I have the right to ____, but I've worked so hard, Lord, it wasn't supposed to be like this because I..."

When we focus on the fact that the God of the Universe has called us His own for His own glory and for the satisfaction of our souls, our hearts are inclined to look at scripture and those around us and ask "what are my responsibilities with all that I have been given?" rather than the question "what are my rights?"

So that was a super long winded to say that all of the tangible examples I could give of laying down rights (from finances, to child rearing, to personal time, to sex) are all my laying them down at the foot of the cross because I realize I'm not entitled to anything, rather lavishly blessed with far more than I deserve.

As believers, especially as women, we really feel entitled to so much. But our Example, Maker and Savior, for the joy set before Him endured the CROSS, bore the cup of wrath that was meant for us and laid down His life as a ransom!!

That is what we are privileged with...the gift of being able to lay down our lives for one another, to suffer for His name's sake for the JOY set before us!!! Which is why whenever I'm struggling I go to the whole of Romans 8 but especially the last half.

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
    For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us... 

...Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
    Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
    What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
    “For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
        we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
    No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:12-39 ESV)

As A.W. Tozer says in Knowledge of the Holy "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." The heading of his first chapter, "Why We Must Think Rightly About God." A few paragraphs in, he says "A right conception of God is basic not only to systematic theology but to practical Christian living as well. It is to worship what the foundation is to the temple; where it is inadequate or out of plumb the whole structure must sooner or later collapse...The man who comes to a right belief about God is relieved of ten thousand temporal problems...

That's it!! Having a right view of God effects EVERYTHING.

Wendy Alsup parallels what Tozer was saying

"Don't be content with the Christian desk calendar approach to Christianity. Don't be satisfied with a daily practical saying or some three-step process for being a good wife or a better friend. God has both called you and equipped you to know him. We have no excuse to remain ignorant of his character. Seek God's face. Understand his character. Pursue knowledge of him, for apart from the 'fear of the Lord' and 'the knowledge of the Holy One' (Proverbs 9:10) we have no hope for being a wise mother, sister, wife or friend…knowing our God and understanding His character are essential tools that enable us to exercise wisdom in our daily lives. As we study who God is and what he does, we are equipped to deal with the big and small issues of life. Knowing God and acting in faith in light of those beliefs is key to a life pleasing to God. Know him, and then act like you know him, that is faith."

I needed to know years ago in that grocery store aisle, that my problem wasn’t just having a wrong view about submission to my husband, but having a wrong view of God and myself. The only "right" I have is Christ's righteousness over me and even then it is not of myself but a gift of God!! As Ephesians 2 says:

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,

So sisters,  as Lori moves on to talk specifically about the rights we think we have and tangible areas of our lives that need to be surrendered at the foot of the cross, remember Romans 8, "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"

We can and should labor together to keep each other accountable, encourage one another to know who God is and then act like it. We need to encourage one another to ultimately find our hope and peace in the knowledge that God is a God who spared not His own son so that sinners like us, would be saved.  For when we fail, struggle, see our sin, we need to surrender it at the foot of the cross--even if it is hundreds of times each day-- and be reminded of what God has done for us because of His great love.  Its only then we can do just what Lori says “the next right thing.”  And we do the next right thing not because of what it says about us, or Lori’s mentoring, or anything else, but because of what it says about our good, gracious and Holy God.

pink + blue = love

Just a quick note to you dear newlyweds, the not-so-newlyweds and even the oldie-weds...

Approximately 6 mostly bliss filled years ago, my knight and I read a book entitled Love & Respect. There were things we loved about the book, and a handful of things we may have scoffed at.  One of those being the concept that women hear with pink earmuffs and speak with pink megaphones and men hear through blue earmuffs and speak through blue megaphones.  I actually thought the idea was so cheesy I almost disregarded much of the book. But wouln't you know that years later, that silly concept we laughed at still surfaces and actually helps with our communication.  Or at least helps us resolve communication issues after the fact.

For example. Let's pick an arbitrary day like, oh, today for instance, where my knight in plaid & denim said he would be coming home for lunch.  My pink earmuffs and I got all puffed up with excitement and I readied the troops for his arrival. 

His visit consisted of eating 1/2 of his lunch while standing up and wrapping the rest in a paper towel to take with him to a meeting this afternoon. At this point I may have hypothetically speaking, had a few ruffled feathers and may have responded with a rather grumbling spirit. Ok, I wasn't very nice at all.

As quickly as he arrived, he departed and I was left with a pile of frustration and little grace. 

Until I remembered those darn earmuffs. And I laughed.

What happened was that through his blue megaphone he said "I'm coming home to get lunch" and in my pink earmuffs I heard "Oh honey, I love you so much, I'm going to make a special trip home and I'll listen to everything you have to say about your morning, I'll linger a few moments gazing into your eyes and then as if I am being physically torn away, I will leave hesitantly." Or something like that.

May I repeat?  What he said was "I'm coming home to get lunch." 

And when he did just that, he wasn't ill-willed at all, just doing exactly what he said he was going to do.

I tell you this little hypothetical story to remind you that communication, even with someone you love and cherish, isn't always easy. And sometimes it takes a conscious reminder that that special someone truly does not wish you ill, but rather loves you and just may be speaking and hearing through different "colors."

How will my story end you ask?  I'll send my knight this link with a heartfelt "I'm sorry for being disappointed over unspoken expectations.  Will you forgive me?"

My knight will most assuredly say "I already have." We'll seal the deal with a little kiss and I'll whisper, "Do you think the next time you say you are coming home for lunch you could stay? I'd like that very much."

The end.

When Life Interrupts Living

A month has once again elapsed without so much as a finger-tap on these keys and what a whirlwind this month has been.  While most our days, weeks, and months are spent seeing God inside the rooms of our home, in a fenced-in-yard, in the laundry, in the dishes, in snuggles on the couch, in routine, the past few weeks have had us finding Him far beyond these walls.

Ta-Da!!

Breathtaking, awe-inspiring, simply amazing.

We're settling back in, finding Him once again in the little, remembering just how the heaven's declare the glory of God and the sky above proclaims His handiwork. And, I'm praying that I can be just as inspired by His grace in the mountain of laundry I'm about to tackle as I have been by seeing all He created for His good pleasure.

We are grateful.  

But in the words of Ann Voskamp:

The counting of all blessings is ultimately summed up in One.  

All gratitude is ultimately gratitude for Christ, all remembering a remembrance of Him. For in Him all things were created, are sustained, have their being.  Thus Christ is all there is to give thanks for; Christ is all there is to remember...the radical wonder of it all stuns me happy, hushes me still: it's all Christ. Every moment, every event, every happening...

Christ.

And I give thanks that it isn't me finding Him, but He who found me.

*****

Covenant-keeping Love

Because of the brokenness in our own families, when my knight and I were engaged, we had conversations at length about words like covenant, commitment, forgiveness.  While I feel like our understanding of those concepts has by God's grace deepened and expanded, I am so grateful we knew enough then to even to talk about those things.  At our wedding, we asked a gentlemen who had been a mentor and friend to us both through college to officiate the ceremony and more specifically to talk about covenant.  Well, much to our dismay, he "just" shared the gospel and at the time I thought, really??  But now, I thank God for the message that was spoken. Mainly, because I know now that marriage is but a picture of the gospel. 

As the years have gone by and we've watched the marriages of friends and family members crumble,  my heart aches because I believe that not only do they not understand marriage but they have a limited understanding of the Gospel, of God's covenant-keeping love for His people.  

Joel was asked this past fall to officiate the wedding of dear friends and this rest of this post is what he had to say about marriage.  Let's just say, I completely agree.  I know it might seem lengthy for a blog post, but I assure you, it is well worth your time. I did modify it slightly and please note that it was written specifically for two people we know and love well, but I believe the message is universal.

We are gathered today to be a witness to something greater than two attractive people’s relationship, greater than a swell party, and greater a than feel good talk about marriage. We are witnessing the joining of a young man and woman in a way established from the beginning of time. In the first pages of the Bible we see God proclaim that a portion of his creation is not good… yet. Genesis tells us 

“It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him… So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which HE had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

So the man responds as you can imagine any man would seeing a woman for the first time, just like the groom wants to do now, he responds with poetry like bursting into song.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of man. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

Today we see two people leaving the primary care and support of their family, to begin their own family together... The term wedlock comes from the gaelic word for “to pledge”and to “lock”. In a few moments you will be making a “locked pledge” or a “binding covenant” with each other before God and these witnesses. 

This covenant is no small thing. 

God created the covenant of marriage that we just read about to tell a story about himself. This story is about God’s plan to redeem for himself a people who had committed treason against him. Again going back to the first two people, we see the beginning of the rebellion when Adam and Eve disobey God in the Garden of Eden by eating the forbidden fruit. When they ate this fruit it changed their nature to a state of constant rebellion, a nature that now courses through your veins and the veins of everyone in this room. This nature separates us from God and ultimately leads to death. But remember, this story is about redemption and binding covenant. God became man to redeem us from our rebellion. He did this by sending his Son Jesus Christ, to live the perfect life of obedience to God that Adam could not and we cannot do. In an attempt to mess up this plan of redemption and covenant, Satan used people like you and me to kill the only person who didn’t deserve to die. In this death Jesus died the death that we deserve because of the guilt we inherited from Adam... 

 

Remember this story is about redemption and covenant. It gets better because this story gets personal with you and me and everyone in this room. The life that Jesus lived is the life God deserves from us, a life that speaks of his glory, his love, his patience, his justice, his mercy, and everything he is. And yet we all fall short of this every day. Therefore we transgress everything he is and therefore deserve the death that Jesus died. Did you catch that, he died the death that I deserve and he lived the life required of me. And what does he ask for in return? 

He asks that we trust that it is only by Christ’s sinless life and atoning death that we may be reconciled to God. That is the Good News of God’s redemption of his people. And there is even more Good News and that is of this covenant. God promises that if you trust him for this redemption that he will never take it back and never turn his back on you. The result of this awesome story that you trust in, is an amazing peace, because you trust in something beyond yourself, something that God has done, that cannot be taken away and you don’t have to earn.

So this is great news. It is something to trust and believe in. It will affect the rest of your life, especially the marriage you are about to enter into. I say especially because the Bible tells us through the Apostle Paul that this love between a husband and wife is an image of the love that Christ has for his bride, the church, that we just talked about.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,… In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:25,26-32 ESV)

We are now going to look at this parallel picture of the love of Christ and the love found in marriage from three different perspectives. If you remember back to the great news about this remarkable story about God, there were two recurring themes and one resulting theme: Redemption and covenant resulting in peace.

Soul redemption can only be found in Christ’s life, death and resurrection. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” 

But to show a picture of the gospel the spouse is to lay down their life for the other, even when that person does not “deserve” it or even may be in the midst of blatant wrong-doing. One way to picture this is to think about marriage not as a 50-50, give-and-take relationship, but rather as a 100-100 relationship. Having this heart attitude, each person is serving each other fully before they are looking to themselves. This is completely contrary to what our culture will tell you today. A a wife, the world will tell you that you have to be independent in your marriage and completely self-sufficient with or without your husband. As a husband, the world will tell you to work hard five days a week so that you can build a man-cave and drink away your life as you watch football and play video games on the weekends. 

Instead, God gives us an incredible picture of the sacrifice of one’s desires for the benefit of the beloved. In the Garden of Gethsemane before Christ was to be crucified, we read of him praying in so much distress that he is sweating drops of blood, not because he did not want to redeem us, but because the human part of him wanted it to be able to be done in an easier way.

Your marriage will be full of opportunity to practice this sacrifice of self, just ask anyone who has been married a little while. There will be times when one or both of you will be hostile to the other, just like we were once hostile to God. But you must not let that be the status of your marriage, whether you are out to eat or in the privacy of your home. If the root of your marriage is not displaying this love of Christ when the curtains are drawn or when things get tough, the tree that is your marriage will be diseased at the root and it will either die or it will bear no fruit. In your marriage you have the opportunity and responsibility to display the redeeming love of Christ the way that he does, or you can distort it and display a false love. This does not mean that things will be perfect or that perfection is expected. This side of heaven we will never get there. But what will be the disposition of your marriage? This is how the Bible directs us: 

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:12-14 ESV)

One of the qualities of this love that Christ has for his beloved is found in his own steadfast commitment to His bride, the Church. So this love that Christ has for his beloved cannot be lost or taken away or earned. The Bible tells us this, about the covenant that Christ has with those who believe:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39 ESV)

The word covenant has been severely distorted thanks to things like neighborhood covenants, where you do the bare minimum to keep from receiving a fine. Even the word promise today only means that you’ll keep your word until it is no longer convenient or “best” for you. This is not how God views covenant and this is not how you should view covenant. In just a moment you will pledge your lives to each other “in sickness and in health” or should we say “in tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger or sword” “til death do us part”. You are making a covenant with your words before God and these witnesses that you will never abandon each other or forsake loving one another. That is no small thing. In doing this you are identifying your covenant keeping with the covenant keeping of Christ. Again, you have the opportunity to display the covenant-keeping, redeeming love of Christ the way that he does, or you can display a false, covenant-breaking love. Hear the words combined now, covenant-love. This is not a picture of two people living separate lives in the same house with the only thing keeping them from being divorced is the paper work. But don’t be arrogant and think that the millions of marriages out there like that one started with that as their goal. 

So take heed and firmly establish your root system in the love that Christ has for you and bend that love toward each other. Establish those roots deep so that when all the difficulties of life come, the tree that is your marriage will not be blown over. Again we look to scripture to encourage us in this: 

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:4-5 ESV)

A preacher once said that the best way to be in love after 50 years is to remain in this covenant keeping love with your spouse for all those 50 years. In this he is referring to a result of the two themes of the story, and that result is peace. In God’s story this peace comes from having a love and redemption that cannot be taken and cannot be earned. Likewise in marriage, peace comes from a marriage rich in covenant keeping, redeeming love. Your spouse is the closest to you by pure proximity. Because of that, your spouse knows your weaknesses and faults better than any other person. But where is the peace in that you might ask? The peace is in this: that despite your weaknesses and faults, your spouse is committed to loving you with Christ-like love until you die. 

Let’s go back to the beginning of our story for a beautiful picture of this. Before their rebellion, Adam and Eve knew nothing but the covenant keeping, redeeming love of God. And the result was that they were naked, and not ashamed. Nakedness is complete vulnerability, and they had no worries or shame in that vulnerability. What amazing peace must have reigned in their hearts and souls! How blessed are we that God has given us something similar in a marriage that knows nothing but the love of God. When this kind of love abounds in a marriage there is no shame in complete vulnerability. Physical, emotional and spiritual nakedness hold no shame in a marriage filled with the covenant-keeping love of Christ. You are loved in whatever state you are in. Nothing can separate you from each other because your covenant roots are deep and those roots are full of life from the redeeming, self-sacrificing love of Christ. 

The result of this kind of marriage is one that is like a tree that bears much fruit and survives through the hurricanes, the deep freezes and the scorching famines. This marriage is full of love for each other and that love overflows to all those around in ways that only God knows, because its origin is in God. 

What a grand picture that marriage paints of this love that Christ has for his bride. This grand picture is often daunting, and your only hope is to trust in God’s grace to see you through the good times and the difficult times. So I encourage you to trust Him. Proverbs says 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Knowing that it is by God’s grace alone that you will be able to fulfill this calling, are you ready to enter into this covenant with each other before God and these witnesses? 

They proceeded with their vows and toward the end they were reminded of these words:

The German pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer expounds on marriage and the giving of rings: 

“As you gave the ring to one another and have now received it a second time from the hand of the pastor, so love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God. As high as God is above man, so high are the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of love. It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage sustains your love.”

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage sustains your love. Covenant-keeping love. While marriage is but a picture of the gospel, it is a picture God gave and speaks so loudly (whether we realize it or not) of the reality of Jesus Christ, laying down His life for His bride.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,  because we are members of his body.  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:25-32)

They see us holding hands

Multiple times each day I call out "art time" and the girls run for their easel.  Occasionally I give them a subject matter but most days, I let them them draw whatever is on their heart.  No matter how many times they draw it, I never ever get tired of their most favorite thing to draw--our family.

The other day I took special notice of their drawings and tears began to well.

Do you see what I see? What could be overlooked as a seemingly unimportant detail?

When the girls picture our family, they picture Joel and I holding hands. Side by side, arms outstretched over children and dogs and everything else. Arms outstretched, hands entwined, he and I, together.  This is how I want them to envision us always.

The women at our church our going through a fantastic book, Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney.  I had the privilege of walking through it years ago with women in our small group and I am excited to go through it again with all the women in our church.  God has me in such a different place now than I was then.  The book is based on the mandate in Titus 2 for women:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

I love unpackaging this passage at different stages of life.  Carolyn encourages wives to ask their husbands which of the virtues in Titus 2 they would like to see their wives grow in.  If you've never asked your husband how you can love him better or where he thinks you should grow, I encourage you to do so. 

Looking back, I can see that years ago, Joel should have answered the question of how his wife needed to grow, 'submission.'  I don't remember asking him the question then (maybe that was purposeful?) but I know now that while I appeared on the outside to be submitting to him, my heart was far from it.  We were in the midst of planting a church; a calling that Joel felt sure of and for which he had been given vision. Let's just say I wasn't quite there. Planting a church is hard (that is an entirely different series of posts altogether) and in a nutshell, I didn't trust God, I didn't trust Joel and in the depths of my heart I was not a submissive wife and was far from (as John Piper defines it)

meeting my divine calling to honor and affirm my husband's leadership and help carry it through according to my gifts.

God is gracious and my husband is gracious and I am humbled, humbled each time I ponder those first couple years, and my heart aches at how I fell so short in demonstrating, in being meeting my divine calling to honor and affirm. 

Now, to be planted on the other side, to see God's plan, have the same vision as my husband and to be in the midst of such a sweet body of believers is truly remarkable.  I thank God every day for the conviction Joel had to press on even though his wife was constantly asking "are you sure?"  Lives are being transformed and worldviews being shaped by the Gospel and grace and fruit are abounding and I am utterly grateful that despite all my questioning, he was sure of his conviction. And did I mention how very patient he was with me?  Not once did he pull any hair out, or even seem that frustrated.  With kindness he remained steadfast to the calling God had given him even though my voice resounded "but? but? but? Are you sure?"

Yes, his answer to "virtue in which his wife needed the most growth", should have been submission.

Fast forward a few years to this past week and this time, I asked the question.

Honey, where do I need to grow? (Why, oh why are those words so hard to utter?  Like Carolyn, I wish I had Jonathon Edward's resolve to "whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination."  Oh, that I would long to be refined regardless of how painful the process!)

At first it didn't appear that Joel picked his answer from the list (he would be one to deviate) but with deeper reflection what he said was "you could love me better." 

Once the twinge of pride and desire to say "but...are you sure?" faded (No matter how gently your husband answers that question, the fact that he has an answer (and he will) will hurt.  But that is what being refined, molded, sanctified is all about. And in the knowing and the growing you'll find grace and freedom follow.)

I need to know how to love my husband better so I asked him to elaborate.  His solution seemed so simple:

Laugh at all my jokes please, spend time with me,  don't be so easily offended, remember I love you.

Seems so simple. Then why am I not doing it?

Carolyn does such a great job of defining how we as wives are called to love our husbands. In the Greek, the word used in this passage for love is phileo.  It is the love of close friends. Someone who walks beside, plays beside, laughs with and prays with someone.  The love that says

You are my best friend and everything you say is worth listening to.

agape love that woman are specifically exhorted to (although we are called to that as well.) It is easy for us to "sacrifice" by doing things for our husbands. How often I don't have time to just sit and talk to my husband because I am: cooking a gourmet meal when he really just wants Tater Tot casserole,  scrubbing the baseboards he doesn't even know get dirty or rearranging the furniture he just wants to sit in with me.  To busy doing for him rather than loving him by being with him.

It reminds me of my walk with Lord. How often I am too busy doing to really sit and be with Him.

So often the way I relate to the Lord is the same way I relate to my husband.  Some days earnestly seeking, desiring his presence.  Just a. few. more. minutes. Please?  Other days I try to squeeze time in in a moment or two. I know it is good to connect. I just have to finish this first, and maybe this and oh, there's this... And then there are the days where I seemingly forget He or he is there and I am altogether preoccupied with what is on my own agenda.

My prayer for this study, for this season, and for my life is that as I go about the business and busyness of being a wife and mother that I not only remember to, but desire to, just be.  As always, my old friend Charles Spurgeon sums perfectly what we're called to

The choicest fruits are the hardest to rear: the most heavenly graces are the most difficult to cultivate. Beloved, while we don't neglect external things, which are good enough in themselves, we ought also to see to it that we enjoy living, personal fellowship with Jesus.  See to it that sitting at the Savior's feet isn't neglected, even though it is under the specious pretext of doing Him service. The first thing for our soul's health, the first thing for His glory, and the first thing for our own usefulness, is to keep ourselves in perpetual communion with the Lord Jesus...

First, to sit at my Savior's feet, to draw near to Him, to in all work and play, find Him.  And if I'm in communion with Him, I know that naturally I will commune with the man He has given me. 

The first thing for my usefulness is to be in perpetual communion with my God--and then my husband.  Because when it is all said and done, what I want our children to remember, is that bent at the knee before our Savior, Joel and I were holding hands.

The Most Sacred Pearl

The house was finally silent, little ones tucked into their beds for the night and we had gone our separate ways.  He to his computer to tackle mountains of work and I to my post at the kitchen sink to tackle the mountain of dishes.  I took in the sight of the dinner dishes and sighed, thinking, "here we go again."  It had been a long Monday, like the many before it. It amazes me how quickly I can run out of grace, how easily my voice turns terse and unforgiving.  Yes, it had been one of those days--again.

I heard the crinkling of paper in the next room, the opening of the doors to our fireplace screen, the rustling of wood.  I could see him there building a fire, trying to create warmth in a house that to both of us felt so very cold.  I took one more look at the dishes and literally threw in the towel. Tuesday seemed like a much better day to do dishes than Monday.

Slowly I made my way over to him as he crouched before the fireplace, sparks just beginning to fly and wrapped my arms around him and whispered "can we start over?"

No, he said, we can't.

And before I could even give him that shocked I can't believe you just said that, here I am offering peace and you turn me away? look of indignation, he whispered

But we can keep going.

It took a moment to realize the magnitude of his words.

We couldn't go back but we could indeed move forward, from grace to grace.  We couldn't get back those hours or pretend they didn't exist but we could in awareness, in forgiveness, in grace move on.

That is the beauty of this life of sanctification.  If we are moving forward, the cross is before us and while don't get to erase our sin or our failures, we can choose to see them in the light of the cross.

And the awareness of what was behind makes the beauty of what is before us that much more breathtaking.

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving...And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

He nailed it to the cross.

My sin, my shame, my lack of ability to extend grace when I have been extended grace abounding, has been nailed to the cross.  All of it. And the memory of all is what helps me grasp how much grace has been given. Not being able to start over is not a walking backward, a carrying the weight of sin, a staring at what is past...

The inability to start over is a gift; it is a starting point.  From there Jesus takes our hand, turning us from sin and walks with us to the foot of the cross.  He brings us to the foot of where He died.  To the foot of where our sins are nailed.

Last night, sparks ignited and within moments, the warmth of grace given and the heat of dancing flames filled our little living room. And in light of the cross, we moved on.

So begins Tuesday, and my hope for today, for every day is to walk in Him, with Him.  As Charles Spurgeon said this morning "Continue to live in Him; proceed from grace to grace, run forward..."

Today, I'm running forward. Won't you run with me?

Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

because sometimes we need reminded...

It happened again. Monday that is. And one would think that after so many, well literally 1,673 Mondays in my lifetime thus far and 205 Mondays as a mother, that I might understand and actually anticipate that the day might not quite go as planned, but I forgot and

the laundry piled
the baby cried
the toddler whined
the coffee spilled ...after it had been reheated for the fourth time
the rain poured
the mama became a bit more overwhelmed with each passing hour
until the knight in shining armor came home and found his bride in shambles
and the mama's frustrated heart didn't melt
and words still carried a piercing, insinuating tone
and the patience she tried to muster when speaking to her children
wasn't found when speaking to the knight
and in the moments he was gone to get medicine for the baby
the Lord broke the mama's heart
she readied herself to ask for forgiveness upon his return
And the door opened
and the knight stood there bearing yellow lilies
and she hadn't even apologized yet
and she wept

And that was Monday and today was Tuesday and one would think that she would have remembered the grace that was for Monday. But she forgot. Again.

And the laundry piled
and the baby cried
and the toddler whined...

And this mama lay down to take a nap because she was oh, so weary. And the voice of her Father whispered "Daughter, this weary is not one of body, but of soul. Come to me."  And the mama hesitated snug between the down and the flannel with rain pounding on the roof. And again she heard. "Come."

Rousing herself she stumbled to the coffee pot, brewed a fresh pot, passed the dishes stacking, ignored the laundry piling, cleared the table just enough for her Bible, and there found peace.  For there in pages of His Word was grace allover.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

And she wept again.

Remembering that not only is there grace for Mondays. But it is there for Tuesdays as well.

he knows me

In a whirlwind of a month his birthday has passed, our anniversary celebrated and moments stolen--there are too few of them these days.  We have wined and dined and attempted to watch a movie but the tiredness sets in and it takes three nights instead of one to finish a film. Each evening as we chase, laugh and love our children the clock strikes 7:30 pm and instead of gearing up for our evening alone time we fall exhausted on the couch, on the chair and just stare.  A smile or two breaks through and we laugh, content to be together even he across the room in leather chair and I curled in a ball on couch, pillow in hand.

Yesterday was my birthday. An uneventful number, past thirty a bit but not near enough to forty to fret. Yet still full of teasing as I am to my husband, an elder (but just by a few years).

Sunday was full of  time as an extended family, sweet gifts that warmed my heart - a super-sharp bread knife with wood carved handle, simple pieces of jewelry from others, finally my own angel food cake pan as my mother's sits borrowed often in my kitchen, each a cherished treasure. But my husbands gift made my spirits soar.  He knows me so well.

Wise Words for Moms   for my wall.  How I long to impart scripture and wisdom to my children.  To ensure that my reproofs are sound and followed by encouragement.

All About Growing Fruits, Berries and Nuts as I am always hoping to maximize our space, nourish our family and spend time outdoors with our girls.

And my very very favorite gift was beautiful by design, soft to the touch, small enough to carry with me and life altering to open...a new Bible.  Genesis recently fell out of my old Bible and while I can hold it together in the safety of our home, it wasn't practical carry with me. I want it with me.

That was Sunday.

Monday started out so well. A box of chocolates, morning prayer to my Beloved--with my beloved, smiles and coos from Charis and then shattering the calm, voices of two little girls through the monitor bursting into song at the first light of the morning. "Old MacDonald had a farm...In Christ Alone, my hope is found!," we read, we sang, we made bread...it was delightful.

Until the day, like so many, began to unravel. One baby not sleeping, one sister waking another from her afternoon nap, whiny mouths, grouchy hearts, potty accidents, tears, clutter, dog hair on the vacuumed rug, dishes beginning to pile in the clean kitchen, pinto beans dropped and scattered on the stove, in burner pans, on the floor.  Hopes of a delicious dinner fading; hopes of any dinner fading. More tears, now of the mama kind.

4:58pm No dinner, no hope, only frustration and tears. Loss of the bigger picture. What really matters.

And then, a phone call. "Honey, I'm on my way home. Do you need anything? I forgot to tell you I wanted to take you and the girls out for dinner. I forgot to tell you."

A split second moment of thinking, that would have been so nice to know, disappeared into waves of gratitude and a few more tears.  Oh how he knows me.

Dinner on a patio, girls in pink dresses, ending the day with family worship our inharmonious voices singing "Holy, Holy, Holy," and then the sound of 7:30pm. Rustling and whispers in the monitor of girls settling into their beds, then silence.

A smile or two breaks through and we laugh, content to be together even he across the room in leather chair and I curled in a ball on couch, pillow in hand.

And I sigh with contentment for he knows me.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.

All out of yeses...

Today is one of those days where I've run out of yeses.

My children heard:

"No let's not build a fort, the floors are dirty."

"No, don't put cheese in the bowl, let's leave it in the bag tonight." Even though she just wanted to help and was doing it the way we always do it but I just couldn't wash one. more. bowl. (Really, I couldn't put one more bowl in the dishwasher?)

"No extra story before bed, it's late." (Was it really?)

My husband heard:

Silence. Perhaps a sigh or two. No real words of encouragement or hope.

My Lord heard:

He's not enough. He can't possibly give me the strength. His grace is not sufficient. His power not made perfect in my weakness. I'm too weak.

Everyone heard:

"No. I have nothing left to give."

I ran out of yeses. And I read this and I wanted yell "good for you" (in a not-so-loving tone) and then I felt the hardness crack. And I stopped.

And I prayed cautiously, honestly not wanting to hear His answer, knowing His gentle rebuke would come.

And I read:

"I am with you alway."—Matthew 28:20.

T is well there is One who is ever the same, and who is ever with us. It is well there is one stable rock amidst the billows of the sea of life. O my soul, set not thine affections upon rusting, moth-eaten, decaying treasures, but set thine heart upon Him who abides for ever faithful to thee.


And:

"Only be thou strong and very courageous."—Joshua 1:7.

UR God's tender love for His servants makes Him concerned for the state of their inward feelings. He desires them to be of good courage. Some esteem it a small thing for a believer to be vexed with doubts and fears, but God thinks not so. From this text it is plain that our Master would not have us entangled with fears. He would have us without carefulness, without doubt, without cowardice. Our Master does not think so lightly of our unbelief as we do...Let your spirit be joyful in God your Saviour, the joy of the Lord shall be your strength, and no fiend of hell shall make headway against you: but cowardice throws down the banner. Moreover, labour is light to a man of cheerful spirit; and success waits upon cheerfulness. The man who toils, rejoicing in his God, believing with all his heart, has success guaranteed. He who sows in hope shall reap in joy; therefore, dear reader, "be thou strong, and very courageous."

Tonight, I will go to my Savior's feet, humbled at His mercy, in awe of His compassion. I will go to my husband's side and sow seeds of hope, speak words of grace rather than discourage with silence, and offer my help, however feeble I may think that to be.

And tomorrow, I'm going to say "yes." At least once or twice...

The Coming

As we sat in the darkness of our living room, with little lights twinkling from the tree, the glow of the snow and white lights through our picture window, the silhouettes of our stockings against the fireplace, our Jesse Wreath hung on the chimney and the reflection of flames from our fireplace dancing on the hardwood floor, I was struck once again by the magic of the season. This past month we have been preparing our hearts, our goodie stashes and sweet gifts for loved ones and the time of celebration is so near. But this year, more than any other, we prepared to celebrate His coming.

In our home, you won't find rumors of a jolly old man in a red suit (not that we are opposed to jolly old men) but we long to impact to our girls the magic of the season rooted in the reality of His coming. But don't worry about their imaginations, because truly, can you just imagine?

The racing heart of a very young girl as she prepared for her baby's coming in a stale, crowded stable. Rather than family and loved ones around, only her beloved and a cow or donkey or two? The pains of childbirth and the peace that set in afterward as she held her little one and thought, "My son, my Savior." Still, quiet, pondering.

In contrast, not too far away in a field, a heavenly host of angels (and not the chubby Hallmark kind) appeared to scruffy, lowly shepherds while they tended their sheep. The awesome warriors of light filling the sky, striking fear in the hearts of the shepherds, bringing great news that in Bethlehem, the one who would be their King, their Savior was born. Singing, rejoicing, praising, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

And the star, the great star that lit up the sky that in time would lead three wise men to worship their Savior.

Now those things are the things that fairy-tales are made of...only this wasn't a fairy-tale. It is the greatest reality of all eternity.

Just as God led Joseph and Mary to a back road stable, the shepherd's to the manger where the King was laid, and the wise men to a rather insignificant town all to reveal what He was doing, so they could "rejoice exceedingly with great joy....and [fall] to the ground and worship Him," just as he led them, He has been leading our hearts, preparing them for the work that He is doing and reminding us of the finished work on the cross that He has done.

While the story of our Savior's birth is magical, mysterious and worthy of our celebration and awe, we cannot separate His coming from His purpose in coming: redeeming His people on the cross. So this Christmas, and every Christmas hereafter, may we not separate the cradle of a baby, from the cross on which the King of Glory died.

Our stockings are hung by the chimney with care, but with hope, joy and peace for Jesus is here.

Merry Christmas!

Weary

I can't wait to share the most amazing experience I had yesterday, witnessing God, one strong and loving man, and one brave and humble woman bring life into this world.

But today, I'm weary. My temper is short, my body fatigued and I have been praying for the past hour "Lord, I know that your mercies are new every morning. Can they be new every naptime?" I have not been patient or loving with our sweet children. Instead of compassion, this morning their whines or tears brought frustration.

I forgot today where my strength comes from. In the back of mind I knew what I needed but I thought a clean kitchen or a shower would remedy the weariness of my soul. I even ignored the gentle tug on my soul enough to sit down on this silly computer and sort through my reader.

And this is what I found from one of my favorite blogs:

“And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. but Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.” Luke 10:39-42

My other Martha Moment? I sit, but I don’t listen.

Martha had trouble sitting because she was distracted with much serving. But she also had trouble listening.

“Martha, Martha,” our Lord lovingly addressed her, “you are anxious and troubled about many things.”

We can’t listen if we are anxious and troubled about many things.

I’ve squandered my fair share of devotional times worrying rather than listening. I sit on the living room couch with my Bible, journal, reading plan, books, and coffee, but I fail to listen.

I rehearse a difficult conversation from the night before: What could I have said? What should I have said? What will I say next time we talk?

Or I consider the day ahead: What time is Chad’s soccer game? Oh, I almost forgot I’m babysitting Kristin’s boys. And I need to get C.J.’s shirts from the cleaners before he goes out of town….

Or I notice an empty corner in the living room and begin to redecorate in my mind: If we move this chair to that corner and purchase a small table and lamp to go over here…

All the while, my Bible is open on my lap.

But I’m not listening.

I might even read my Bible, but because I am distracted, I have no idea what I just read.

I’m still not listening

Do you have your own “Martha Moments?” Do you find it hard to sit? Do you find it difficult to listen?

God knew Martha was anxious and troubled. He knows when we are anxious and troubled. He lovingly spoke to Martha; and through her story He lovingly speaks to us today: “only one thing is necessary.”

So I decided to listen. And this is what I found:

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” — Matthew 11:28-30

"Underneath are the everlasting arms."—Deuteronomy 33:27.

"Well, child of God, remember that when thou art at thy worst and lowest, yet "underneath" thee "are everlasting arms." Sin may drag thee ever so low, but Christ's great atonement is still under all. You may have descended into the deeps, but you cannot have fallen so low as "the uttermost"; and to the uttermost He saves...This assurance of support is a comfort to any weary but earnest worker in the service of God. It implies a promise of strength for each day, grace for each need, and power for each duty. And, further, when death comes, the promise shall still hold good. When we stand in the midst of Jordan, we shall be able to say with David, "I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me." We shall descend into the grave, but we shall go no lower, for the eternal arms prevent our further fall. All through life, and at its close, we shall be upheld by the "everlasting arms"—arms that neither flag nor lose their strength, for "the everlasting God fainteth not, neither is weary." ~ Charles Spurgeon

My everlasting God does not grow weary. In fact, His yoke is light. So I'm going to take it and in His strength I'm going to get the wee ones from their beds and together, we'll sit at His feet.

Preparing our hearts

The past two weeks there have been two remarkable families brought to my attention. Families who are experiencing the extent of God's grace and the fulfillment of the thought "Where God Guides, He Provides." I have wept, mourned and rejoiced with these two families of whom I will not know personally in this life, but with whom I am connected to for eternity. I ask that you join me in praying for The Perkins Family and The Sullivans.

I can't begin on this blog to explain God's sovereignty or His providence in our suffering, but I look at these two families and am privileged to witness the tangible walking out of what they say they believe - that our great God is absolutely sovereign "and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

Joel and I speak often these days of how we will suffer in this lifetime. Not only is it probable, it is guaranteed. So as we declare so boldly now in the absence of suffering, my heart's desire is that when the tidal waves of pain come, that we will be able to faithfully proclaim God's goodness as the Perkin's and Brad Sullivan are doing. In Suffering and the Sovereignty of God, John Piper writes:

“The death of Christ in supreme suffering is the highest, clearest, surest display of the glory of the grace of God. … Suffering is an essential part of the tapestry of the universe so that the weaving of grace can be seen for what it really is.” Or, put most plainly and simply, “the ultimate reason that suffering exists in the universe is so that Christ might display the greatness of the glory of the grace of God by suffering in himself to overcome our suffering. The suffering of the utterly innocent and infinitely holy Son of God in the place of utterly undeserving sinners to bring us to everlasting joy is the great display of the glory of God’s grace that ever was, or ever could be.”

Just a few verses before "for those who love God all things work together for the good..." in Romans, are two verses that we cannot separate from the latter "and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Although our sufferings will never compare to what Jesus endured on the cross and they can never compare to the glory that is to be revealed, suffering is real and there are dark, dark hours where we experience little hope of light. It is in these hours that God is with us.

As Dustin Shramek contributed to Suffering and the Sovereignty of God,

"God cares about us in the midst of the pain. His goal isn’t just to get us out of the pain to the joy; he also wants us to see that he is for us and with us in the pain. It is true that weeping may tarry for the night, but
joy comes in the morning (Ps. 30:5). The morning will dawn and God will remove every tear (Rev. 21:4), but God is not just concerned about the morning, the new day when you can shout for joy. He is with us even in the night when there is nothing but weeping, when the tears are so thick that we can’t see. When we are in the deepest pit and darkness weighs on our souls and God feels so absent that we wonder if he is even real."

And as His Word reminds us:

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” (Isa. 43:1-3)

So yes, I believe that there is suffering to come but I know for certain that HE ALONE is our hope in the midst of suffering just as Shramek continues, "There is no one more powerful. There is no one more loving. There is no one more merciful. There is no one more compassionate. There is no other God but God. He alone is Savior, and he alone is Lord."

I know that the Perkins and Sullivan's believe that God is most glorified, even in their suffering, because they are most satisfied in Him. I'm going to close by borrowing right from the Perkin's blog, just one week before they delivered knowing they would be giving back their sweet boy.

So, friends....pray. Daily, Weekly or just once, but I know that prayers of those who trust God and follow Christ are not ignored. God hears the cries of His children and He is near to us always. He wants us to bring every burden at His feet. I want this experience and the day of my delivery to glorify God and bring others to a loving relationship with Him. As I read Exodus, I relate to Moses. He didn't think he could be used by God. How can God use me?

Pray that God WILL use Nate and me in the next few weeks and on the day of delivery. Pray that we don't doubt God's goodness or His sovereignty. Pray that we can rest in His arms, knowing that He loves us.

This is my prayer for their families. And for ours as well.