let the little children come...

My attempt to sneak out of bed and start my day before three girls started their own day was thwarted when in excitement the dog leaped up to follow me. Scratching, thumping, skidding across the hardwood, the racket broke the silence and my joyful heart.  Stiffening I paused, praying the noise wouldn't waken the girls.  After a few still moments, I continued downstairs, the beast bounding after me shaking the stairwell.  Within moments, the pattering of pairs of little feet echoed on the same stairs and giggling girls ran into the kitchen to greet us. The monitor began to wail as the third awoke and I hid.

In defeat, I hid from them. Behind the closed door of the bathroom I hid, not speaking, letting my knight greet his daughters. Hopes for quiet dashed, the coffee still unmade, grey skies still drizzling, noses still drizzling, I hid unwilling to greet the day, to greet them. And in that moment I never wanted to be found.

Sooner than I would have liked, still unready I emerged, and slowly we began this day.  Hours later as I finally sat to crack open the book I so longed to start my day with, I looked into the living room, two girls playing, building a giant nest of blankets and towels with babies, animals tucked in like chicks in a robin's nest. I watched them smile, listened to their soft words and melted, ashamed that rather than calling them to me, letting them come to me, in my selfishness, I hid from them this morning.

As I opened my Bible I happened to read

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

In repentance I see that my selfishness not only hinders them from coming to me, it can hinder them from coming to Him. My heart hurts at how often I send them away, try to steal moments for myself, keep them at arms length and I forget that in this childlike state, when they see me, it is the only picture of Him that they have.  And if they picture me, in my selfish state this morning, they won't see God for who He really is, a patient, loving father who draws His children, woos those He loves to Himself.

As they finish up tidying their room, I sit and happen (do you see that there is no thing as "just so happened?" but all is providence?) to read these words from Sally

Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friend.

Let the little children come unto me, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

I keep thinking about these verses. We want so much to give our lives to the “bigger” cause. We want to invest our lives for what is important. And yet, is there anything more important than the building of a righteous soul?

The laying down of our lives is not just about moving to the most impoverished country or preaching to thousands. But right in front of us, the child who would long to have our comforting touch and gentle voice of life-giving words, that he may imagine the voice and touch of God when He ponders faith as a young adult and chooses to believe because the reality of God was in his home.

The child who needs one more song to be comforted before sleeping, so that he might  be able  in adulthood to believe in a God who is patient and willing to answer prayer and hear our voice when we as his children cry out in faith.

The child who is lonely, confused, hormonal, who will feel the touch of God, the sacrifice of God as we give up the rights to our time and comfort to befriend and listen and show compassion and sympathy for what is on his heart.

Love is given through a candle lit and a special breakfast served one more time on Sunday before church as we open the gospel together, that the reality and beauty of God’s creativity is validated in how we live.  It is shown with the sacrificial life of giving up what we wanted to do, or the job we hoped to have, in order to build a soul through the attention of ourselves. A looking into the eyes with true interest and compassion instead of looking at a screen while half-heartedly listening. These are the sacrifices of our love, the moment by moment giving up of ourselves, the constant, year end year out practice of worship as we serve those in our home in order to please His heart.

It is for Him, for His kingdom that we serve with willing, generous, life-giving hearts, as the building of His kingdom is one heart at a time.

Jesus could have done the big thing, and reached leaders all over the world and brought kings to their knees. But He gave his life to the personal, the love, encouragement, instruction, service of his twelve, the common people, those entrusted into his hands, that they might know and feel the love of God, the touch of God, hear the words of God. He laid down His life in the daily that they might live a life of faith and invest in His kingdom for eternity.

Your loving touch, patient service, sacrifice of time today, this week, is not in vain. It is a service of worship to the one who laid down His own life in moments of time, that we could imagine what God was really like by viewing the incarnate, servant king, providing Father...

In gratitude I thank Him for beckoning me--in my selfishness, in my sin--beckoning me, drawing this little child to Himself.  I look up and whisper Abba and turn to the little ones He has entrusted to me and I restart our day calling out, beckoning them to come to me.